Yin and Yang
by itausagirl
Summary: "And then, it all explodes like a storm, from the silence. A whisper. "I don't need you." It's a lie, both of them knows it, but it is also what Loki fears the most." THORKI, BoyxBoy


**Yin and Yang.**

Screams.

The sound of the waves crashing onto the sand is like a music on the background, too near to be ignored but too far to be understood.

Two people fighting. _Two souls colliding._

They're shouting because they know no other way to tell eachother what they want. _What they're feeling._ Not right now, when is too much.

Because, when it comes to Thor, Loki just can't take it.

They know eachother in ways that, probably, aren't even normal. They care for eachother more than they do for themselves. _Everything is so wrong in this relationship._

Like that strand of water that goes dying against the rock, again and again, these two cannot help but to be together even if it consumes them both. Even if it means to slowly kill the other one, _to kill themselves._

They are so different, like day and night, but so complementary, like day and night. None of them could be without the other one.

 _Another fight._ They've lost the count. It just doesn't matter anymore.

Why have this one started? They know no more.

Now there are just words riverberating in the air. Two voices trying to become one but in the wrong way.

And then, it all explodes like a storm, from the silence.

A whisper. "I don't need you." It's a lie, both of them knows it, but it is also what Loki fears the most.

Because he needs him, he needs Thor, no matter how much he hurts him. He needs that blonde guy in his life, more than he needs to breathe.

Green eyes, suddendly, full of nothing. A soul cracking like crumpled paper.

Loki is lost. Loki is scared. Loki has never felt so little before in his life.

Everything seems so wrong and he does not understand what's going on. He knows that he should think a bit more, that Thor's words are controlled by his anger, that he doesn't really mean them. But he cannot help himself.

He's feeling too much pain, and the only defense that he knows is to attack. Thor is searching for war. _So be it._ * He's not going to loose this one.

"So what are you doing here? My life would only be better without you." He's afraid of what he's saying, but it's the only way he knows to deal with these kind of things. It's just who he is.

"Just go." _Thor, please, stay here. With me, where you belong._ Those are the words that Loki would love to say, but he feels so little, so scared, that he cannot bring himself to do so.

He just stays there, staring into those blue eyes that he loves so much, now full of sadness, betrayal, pain. _And love_.

But Loki can't see it. Neither can Thor understand what's going on in the black-haired guy's mind. He does not understand the damage that those simple words of his have done.

They are too stubborn to realize that they mean the world to eachother.

They are too proud to fight for eachother. Fighting against eachother is easier. Less painful. At least it is what they think.

"As you wish. _As I wish_." With that last line Thor's gone.

And Loki is left there, alone on the beach, with no need to hide his emotions anymore, so he just let them flew out of his soul, out of his body.

Tears running down his face, his green lakes not able to block them anymore. Loud sobs escaping his thin red lips. Pain ripping his body. Loki can't take it.

He falls to the ground, cuddling himself in desperate need of comfort.

Now the sounds of the sea is there, Loki can hear nothing but that. He doesn't want to hear his cry, even if he's pretty aware of that. It would be worse.

He can think of nothing. He keeps seeing Thor everywhere, because he is in his eyes, in his soul. He is part of him.

He is ashamed of himself, he should have said something. Something different.

He should have shown his feelings.

He should have tried to save it. _He should have tried to save himself_.

But he has no bones, no courage. He let it all slips away from his hands, and now he's left with nothing but pain.

Hours passes but Loki does not move from his spot on the sand. Tears keep running down his face, no sound can be heard from the guy now.

He can do nothing but look at the sea, its beautiful colour that remind him so much of his lover's eyes. He can't move his gaze. _It's ripping him apart._

The sun is going down, he doesn't care.

Why would he care? There is no need for him to care about time now, _to care about life_. Thor is gone, nothing has a meaning anymore. Nothing matters.

Footsteps in the distance. They're getting closer every second, but he doesn't care.

A heart that keeps cracking. _Two hearts that keep cracking._

A touch on his shoulder that Loki is, too familiar with.

"I don't care of what you said. I know it's not true." His voice sounds tired, and Loki wish so much to look into those beautiful blue eyes, but he can't.

A weight sitting near him.

"Loki, I'm sorry for what I've said to you. I need you in my life, so much that I couldn't even breathe far from you." Loki wants to believe it so bad. Loki wants to have faith in him. But he is broken and scared.

He keeps listening, _he keeps hoping_.

"Loki, please, look at me." A hand on his chin, forcing his head up. _Green lost in blue_.

"I love you, no matter what you say. No _matter what I say_." Loki is floating in a thunder as he looks into Thor's eyes. There are so many emotions in there that he cannot keep up with them.

"Please Loki, don't make me go away.." And Loki is scared, he wants to hurt him, he wants to make him go away. Because he is suffering, and he's angry.

But Loki loves him, Loki needs him, and he doesn't want to fight anymore.

Love guiding a soul.

A body shoved into another. An embrace full of love.

Loki cannot speak. Sobs too loud again for words to leave his mouth. But Thor is happy like this, now that he can firmly press that body against his, he feels life streaming through his veins.

"I'm not gonna leave you. I won't give up on us. _Never_."

Lips bumping on others, mirroring movements. Souls deavouring eachother.

And Loki is broken, Loki is scared, Loki is little and alone. But Loki has Thor, and who cares if they are going to hurt eachother again. Until they can be together it will be fine.

Because they are different like day and night, they keep colliding, crashing against eachother, again and again.

But they also complete eachother, like yin and yang, you can't have one of them without the other.

 _*Thor's quote from "The Avengers"_


End file.
